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  Still, when she retired to her chamber for the night and sleep enveloped her, there was only one image that kept her company—even in her deepest dreams—and only one husky voice that whispered in her ear. But she could not hear his words nor answer him. And every morning, she counted a new day closer to the moment of his return.

  ***

  Five days before the ball, the Gardiners were eagerly expected at Longbourn. All the Bennet sisters valued their aunt’s company, but Jane and Elizabeth shared a strong bond with her. Only twelve years Jane’s senior, Mrs. Gardiner was a perfect balance of youth and wisdom, to which was added her kind nature and strength of character. In the present circumstances, the eldest Miss Bennets counted the hours until they would have the joy of seeing their relatives.

  The previous night it had rained, and it was still a cloudy, windy day, so everybody hoped the guests would arrive before rain returned. In the afternoon, the two younger sisters moved from one window to another, trying to spot the carriage. Jane and Mr. Bingley were talking privately on a settee while Mrs. Bennet enjoyed a cup of herbal tea.

  Elizabeth soon lost patience; the drawing room suddenly became too small and warm for her. She felt she could not breathe. A chill gripped her stomach, and she paced the chamber, followed by the others’ puzzled glances.

  “I shall take a stroll in the garden,” she said, then hastily took her bonnet and pelisse and left the house. She failed to understand her perturbed state of mind. The day had been a pleasant one until that moment, and the anticipation of receiving her aunt, uncle, and cousins delighted her. But still, she felt so restless and nervous that not even the fresh, chill wind could soothe her.

  She walked around the garden, stopping briefly on the spot where she fought with Lady Catherine and recollecting the harsh words they had said. There were still late flowers in the garden, and a few leaves were hanging weakly to the trees, battered by the growing wind. The landscape was desolate. She used to love every season of the year, but autumn had become her least favourite. Or perhaps it was just this autumn.

  When the first drops of rain fell on her face, Elizabeth hurried back to the house. Although she was in Longbourn’s garden, the slippery ground and the wet, muddy grass made her progress difficult. She finally reached the main entrance just in time to find shelter from the increasing rain. She stopped in the doorway as she heard hoofbeats. She was certain the Gardiners had arrived, so she waited to see the carriage so she could help her young cousins into the house. The sound grew stronger as it approached through the wind and the rain; eventually, it stopped in front of the house, and Elizabeth forgot to breathe while her heart pounded like thunder.

  It was not a carriage but a single horse. The rain blurred her sight, but she did not need eyes to see. Her soul filled with joy before she recognised the rider nearing the main entrance. The man dismounted and stepped forward, holding his horse’s rein.

  “Miss Bennet? I thought it was you, and I took the liberty of stopping to greet you. What are you doing outside? Are you well?”

  “Yes, I am…Mr. Darcy…such a surprise…we did not expect you, sir. I took a stroll in the garden when the rain started…”

  Their eyes met, and her lips remained half-open, as she could find nothing else to say. His hat and his hair were wet, and the wind was blowing, yet he seemed unwilling to break their gaze. The horse whinnied, demanding attention; only then, did a little smile of apology appear on Darcy’s lips.

  “I should leave. I am heading to Netherfield; I wanted to surprise Bingley. And I must put my horse under shelter.”

  “But do you not wish to enter? Mr. Bingley is here. He will be very happy to see you, and John may take care of your horse. Please come in, sir.” She took a step aside, inviting him in, but he still held the reins.

  “I do not wish to intrude…”

  “Oh, not at all…quite the contrary. I mean, we are happy to see you, sir. Come, I shall direct you to the stable—”

  “No, please remain there. I shall find it myself. Do not step into the rain— “

  Mr. Bingley suddenly appeared. “Darcy! What on earth are you doing here? Miss Kitty said she saw you from the window, but I could not believe it! Are you alone? Are you well?”

  “Yes…I just arrived. I am going to put my horse in the stable…”

  “For heaven’s sake, come in the house and let me take care of your horse! You are all wet. Miss Elizabeth, will you be so kind as to take care of Darcy?”

  “Yes, of course. Sir, please come in…”

  Bingley almost pushed Darcy in, and he brushed against Elizabeth as they tried to enter at the same time. Their clothes were wet—his even more so—so he hurried to take off his coat and hat. Elizabeth’s hands were trembling, and she struggled to untie the buttons of her pelisse; she frequently glanced at Darcy in disbelief until she finally removed her bonnet and coat.

  Jane appeared, followed by her sisters and mother, and all of whom stood astonished in the main hall.

  “I told you it was Mr. Darcy! You should not doubt my word,” Kitty said with satisfaction.

  Darcy bowed to the ladies with solemn politeness.

  “I beg your forgiveness for intruding, Mrs. Bennet. I just arrived from London, and I saw Miss Elizabeth in the yard. She told me that Bingley was here and she kindly invited me in—”

  “Dear Lord, come in, sir! You need some dry towels and a glass of brandy! Is your cousin the colonel with you?”

  “No, ma’am. My cousin will arrive in three days’ time. I travelled together with Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner from London. They should arrive in half an hour at the latest. I saw the clouds, and I feared I would be caught in a storm, so I hurried my horse. I apologise for arriving without notice.”

  “Oh, do not worry. You are Mr. Bingley’s friend; you may come whenever you want! Come in, please! Hill! John! Come here at once!”

  They followed Mrs. Bennet into the drawing room, and only minutes later Bingley joined them. Even Mr. Bennet appeared, alerted by his wife’s cries. The image of the guest left him speechless in the doorway, and he responded with only a brief nod to Darcy’s greetings and apology.

  A servant brought a towel for Darcy while Elizabeth apologised and ran to her room to change. Jane immediately joined her sister.

  Elizabeth put on a dry gown and checked her hair in the mirror. She looked quite ill, so she took out the pins then arranged them again. He had finally returned and stopped at Longbourn the first thing. Did that mean something? He appeared uncomfortable but not displeased. He seemed less his old self and more as she had seen him in Derbyshire. She was so nervous that her fingers had lost their skill in arranging her locks, so Jane took over the task.

  “Lizzy dearest, what a surprise—would you not agree? Mr. Darcy arriving unexpectedly. He does not look like himself.”

  “True…but perhaps we know too little to anticipate his behaviour. I believe neither of us understood his true nature in the past—and I less than anyone.”

  “Well, my dear, from now on we shall have the chance to remedy our mistakes. Let us hope Mr. Darcy is willing to keep his close friendship with Mr. Bingley even after we marry. I know he was opposed to our relationship before, but we have reason to believe he has changed his mind.”

  “I believe he has, Jane. If not, why would he even suggest the idea of a ball? His displeasure with such events is common knowledge.”

  “I agree, Lizzy. I am no fool, you know. I perfectly understand Mr. Darcy’s generous intention. I suspect he is aware of Caroline and Louisa’s open opposition to our marriage, so he suggested a way to put me—Bingley’s future wife—in an advantageous light for their friends and relatives. And probably to show our neighbours that some of his family are content with our marriage.”

  Elizabeth agreed with every word, but she had not mentioned anything befor
e for fear of hurting Jane. Now she only embraced her lovingly. “You must understand that the only reason Mr. Bingley did not think of it himself is that he believes you perfect in all aspects. He does not need to prove your perfection to anyone.”

  Jane smiled timidly. “I know that too. And I am afraid I shall not rise to his expectations, Lizzy. I pray all the time that he will not be disappointed once we marry.”

  “Oh, that is nonsense! I do not doubt that he will appreciate his luck even more once he has you by his side all the time. There is no one better than you—nor more beautiful or kinder, my dear Jane.”

  “I am so fortunate to have a loving younger sister to praise me and raise my courage all the time, Lizzy.” Jane caressed her hair. “Now let us return to our guest. And I must ask Aunt Gardiner how it happened that they travelled together with Mr. Darcy. Are they truly keeping such a close friendship with him? I must say, dearest, that I agree with Papa. This is unexpected.”

  “I have even more questions to ask Aunt Gardiner about Mr. Darcy, dear Jane. Many things appear unexpected about him,” she whispered before they entered the drawing room to meet the object of their interest.

  Elizabeth tried to calm herself before seeing Darcy again. The surprise, the joy, the uncertainties, the renewed hope, all distressed her and made her behave strangely – she was well aware of that. He had once fallen in love with her, despite—or precisely because of—her impertinent conversation and open manners. What would he think now if she presented herself as a restrained, hesitant, and silly woman?

  Darcy was sitting in an armchair by the fireplace, caught in a conversation with her father and Mr. Bingley, a glass in his right hand. On a table, there was a tray of food. Mrs. Bennet, Kitty, and Mary were no longer there. None of the three enjoyed Darcy’s company, so they likely had taken the first opportunity to leave.

  He looked dryer, and his face was slightly flushed, most likely from the drink and the heat. His wet hair was curly and untidy, just as she had seen him at Pemberley. She felt her cheeks burning as she wondered whether his shirt was wet too under his coat and vest.

  His eyes caught and held hers. She attempted a smile, and he responded with a slight move of his head. Then she poured herself a cup of tea and sat on the couch with Jane.

  “I was telling Darcy how unexpected his appearance has been,” Mr. Bingley explained, mostly to Jane. “He was never a man of surprises. I do not remember a single instance when he arrived without proper notice. But I am glad he did so now.”

  Darcy sipped from his glass then stole a brief glance at Elizabeth before answering lightly. “There are things that I have since decided to change in my behaviour. I only hope my unexpected arrival did not disturb Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. I intended to go to Netherfield directly and only call at Longbourn when my appearance was more proper.”

  “You did not disturb us, sir, I assure you,” Mr. Bennet addressed their guest. “We are indeed surprised to see you but not at all displeased. And it is good that you stopped at Longbourn as Mr. Bingley is here all the time.” His voice was half mocking, but Mr. Bingley responded with open laughter.

  “That is true; I am here all the time. I know everybody is tired of me at Longbourn, but hopefully, they will only have to bear with me a little longer.”

  “Well, that will give you an excellent excuse not to call on us once you are married. I have a slight suspicion that you will not find Longbourn as appealing once Jane lives at Netherfield.”

  Mr. Bingley coloured slightly and laughed nervously but had no reply. A smile twisted Mr. Darcy’s lips, and his eyes met Elizabeth’s again.

  “Mr. Darcy, is Miss Darcy in good health?” She asked the first thing that came into her mind.

  His gaze rested on her face. “Yes, she is. She is in London with Mrs. Annesley. She asked me to convey to you her greetings and her best regards to the entire family.”

  “I am glad to hear it. I hope to have the chance of seeing her soon as I enjoyed her company exceedingly.”

  “As did she, I assure you,” he replied gently. His face wore the same tender expression that captured Elizabeth’s heart at Pemberley, and the warmth in his gaze gave her shivers.

  “Did Miss Darcy not want to attend the ball?” Jane asked.

  “She would have liked to meet you, Miss Bennet, and to renew her acquaintance with Miss Elizabeth. But my sister is not yet out, and she is not fond of large gatherings.”

  “Well, I can well understand her,” Mr. Bennet answered in earnest. “I have been ‘out’ for more than thirty years, and I am still not fond of large gatherings. It is such a pity that nobody believes me or takes my preferences into consideration, so I am dragged against my will to all kinds of balls and parties.”

  “Georgiana is the most accomplished and the kindest young lady I have ever met,” Bingley said with honesty. “She is as dear to me as my younger sister.”

  “I hope to meet Miss Darcy very soon,” Jane replied with genuine candour.

  “You will, my dear,” Bingley assured her. “If Georgiana cannot come to Hertfordshire, we shall surely go to London whenever you please, as soon as we are married.”

  The prospect of being married and travelling with her husband brought sparkles to Jane’s eyes and a blush to her cheeks. Her betrothed took her hand and kissed it tenderly, and the colour increased on Jane’s handsome face.

  Elizabeth could not help glancing at Darcy. His countenance was bright, and his old haughtiness appeared completely gone. Everything in his posture showed his complete approval for the upcoming wedding.

  “I also hope we shall have the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Bingley’s visit to Pemberley next year,” Darcy added in a friendly voice.

  “We would like that very much, sir,” Jane replied with obvious surprise and nervousness. “We are truly grateful for your generosity, sir. Lizzy told me so many wonderful things about your estate that it is hard to believe I shall have the chance to see it for myself.”

  “I am glad Miss Elizabeth approved of Pemberley,” Darcy said, still speaking to Jane. Although he did not even look at her, Elizabeth’s heart started to race again. “Unfortunately, Miss Elizabeth did not have time to visit much of the park, but I trust she will return with you next year.”

  Only when he finished did Darcy glance at Elizabeth. His little smile was more meaningful than his words, and his eyes spoke to her even when he was silent.

  “I would like that very much,” she struggled to reply. Her voice was unsteady and her words unclear. Elizabeth’s heart felt that the invitation was meant for her more than for Jane, although her mind argued to be cautious and avoid thinking it was more than it was. Her lips became dry, and she hurried to pour herself a cup of tea. She felt Darcy’s gaze burning her nape, but she did not turn. Her fingers trembled, so she held the cup tightly then slowly returned to her chair. She finally dared to look at him. His gaze was still fixed upon her, and the little smile was still in his eyes.

  “Mr. Darcy, I understand you are aware of the reason for Lizzy’s sudden departure…from Pemberley, I mean…”

  This remark by Mr. Bennet startled both Elizabeth and Darcy. They looked at each other; then he averted his eyes and swallowed some brandy. Elizabeth’s fingers clenched her cup.

  “I am, sir. Miss Elizabeth and Mr. Gardiner offered me some details. I feel I need to apologise for my carelessness. Mr. Wickham is not an honourable man, and had I exposed him the moment I saw him in Meryton, this unpleasant situation might not have arisen.”

  “Mr. Darcy, I confess I was not very fond of your company last year. I prefer people with open manners and ridiculous behaviour to amuse myself during long, unpleasant parties. However, one could hardly blame you for anything Wickham had done. If so, I am to blame for raising a daughter too credulous for her own good and too young to be left alone far from her family. With this guilt
I shall have to live.”

  “As shall I, Mr. Bennet,” Darcy replied seriously, and a heavy silence fell over the room.

  Elizabeth’s torment increased, as she feared what else her father might say. She was the only one to discover the extent of Darcy’s involvement in Lydia’s marriage and the money he had wasted in paying Wickham’s debts and buying his new commission. However, Mrs. Gardiner had begged for discretion since Mr. Darcy wished to keep the matter secret, and Elizabeth was frightened that her father might have guessed enough to insist upon further discussion.

  To her relief, the conversation was interrupted by the sound of a carriage and the joyful sounds of the Gardiner children. Following several minutes of bustle and din, the Gardiners’ carriage took Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley to Netherfield.

  Elizabeth slowly moved toward the window, gazing after the carriage, and she noticed Darcy looking back at her. They were expected to return for dinner, but she already felt his absence. She stared outside at the rain and the wind and the leaves fallen to the ground. Only a few hours before, she wondered whether she would ever see him again, and now he was here. The autumn she so disliked earlier suddenly became her favourite time of year.

  Chapter 3

  The two Netherfield gentlemen returned to Longbourn before dinner. While Mr. Bingley behaved as part of the family, Mr. Darcy was more restrained and silent. However, his manners, although reserved, were completely lacking in pride and aloofness.

  Everyone shared the drawing room, the gentlemen in one corner and the ladies in the other. Jane and Mr. Bingley sat together on a settee with Elizabeth joining her eldest sister.

  To Elizabeth, Darcy’s presence brought relief, joy, and torment. She clearly realised how much she had missed him and feared that she would suffer more when he departed again. From what she knew, he was there only for the ball and his friend’s wedding. Once those events came to an end, he had no reason to remain. She did not feel brave enough to consider or to hope for anything related to her.