The Benefits of Extensive Reading Page 2

  “This is ridiculous! It was a mere accident and I take complete blame for it! You have every reason to be angry that I placed you in such a position but you are faultless. Now let us scream for help!”

  To her surprise, he took a step toward her and now was only inches away. Then he spoke with a low voice and with an unexpected warmth that shocked her more than his severity.

  “Miss Bennet, I beg you to forgive me if you feel I am blaming you for anything. It was a mere accident indeed. I am angry by this entire situation, but certainly you are not culpable for what occurred, nor for my feelings. I am trying to find a silent and discreet solution. Please sit by the fire – it is chilly in here and you are hardly dressed at all.”

  His words, although kind and friendly, sounded awkward and improper and she blushed, averting her eyes.

  “Thank you,” she said, moving toward the settee. She sat and stared at the fire for a few moments, only then realising the seriousness of their position. She looked almost like she was in her own bed; her hair was loose and likely messy, her nightgown was thin and translucent, her feet were bare in her slippers. Her entire appearance must be shameful; she was alone with a man, in a locked room, with little chance to be found until morning. That moment she panicked and understood the enormity of the situation and the possible consequences of her simple attempt to borrow a book. She felt her hands trembling and clasped them together in her lap, glancing reluctantly at Darcy. She was alone with him! Beside his unpleasant manners and repulsive haughtiness – did she know enough of him to feel safe in his company? She had no chance to fight him, if he had any intention to take advantage of her.

  He turned and their eyes met for a moment, then she looked toward the fire again. Why would she even consider something so dreadful? She had no reason to suspect him of anything dishonest. Perhaps his horrible pride – more than anything – would force him to behave in a most gentlemanlike manner. She despised him, she was angry with him, she found him an insupportable, insensitive man – but an honourable one, and she felt safe in his presence. Uncomfortable, distressed, but safe. No, she was in no danger. Of that, she was certain.

  Then, shivering from the cold and fighting her panic, she laughed to herself. He did not consider her handsome enough to even dance with her; surely he had no interest and no attraction to her. That was the reason why he was so desperate to not be caught in a compromising situation that would force them to marry and would destroy their lives forever. What a joke! Surely such a perspective was as laughable as it was ludicrous.

  While Elizabeth mused in silence, cuddled on the settee near the fire to warm herself, Darcy kept working at the doorknob. Elizabeth was correct – he was indeed angry and highly distressed but not by her. However, it was because of her. Because of the situation they found themselves in.

  After Bingley left, Darcy remained to finish his wine. Soon enough, the tiredness and the drinks from the entire evening overcame him; he lay comfortably on the couch, by the window, listening to the rain and the wind and thinking of Elizabeth. When she appeared in the doorframe, he was certain it was only a vision. Yet, she was real. With her hair loose, in the silky nightgown that embraced and revealed her alluring body, her bare feet in slippers and her eyes open wide in surprise, she was a picture he would never forget. His eyes caressed and lingered on her appearance only as long as a heartbeat, but it was enough to have her image deeply burned in his mind and soul, like a scar that would never heal completely.

  He had dreamed of her many times in the last weeks but never imagined he would ever see a glimpse of what he had only imagined. Yet, fate had been very good, or very cruel to him, allowing him to see what he did not allow himself to even desire. Then the door closed behind her, and he found himself trapped with her in the most disturbing situation, one he did not know how to bear or how to solve. Feeling helpless, his temper betrayed him, his self-control evaded him, his usual ability to find the key to any problem suddenly vanished.

  So he pretended to fix the knob, to avoid looking at her.

  He did not recollect what he had said, but his words upset her and she accused him of blaming her for her mistake. She pointed out that it was not her choice to be there and something about her sister. She was too close, her fragrance too strong, her nearness too overwhelming for him to pay attention to anything else. He apologised and asked her to go to the fire both to warm herself, and to be away from him, while he desperately attempted to open the damn door, broken by the annoying Hurst.

  “Mr. Darcy, may I help you with something?” she asked and he startled, while her words ran like chills down his spine.

  “No…”

  “We must find a way to exit. The wood is scarce and it is getting cold. Besides, regarding what you said earlier… I admit you are right but… would it not be better if we knock and shout to be found now rather than later on or perhaps in the morning?”

  She looked at him with seriousness but with a trace of a smile on her lips. Was she mocking him? Was she laughing at his concern? Or perhaps she was not unwilling to be found in a compromising situation that might secure her a comfortable future? Surely she must know that he would do what duty requires from an respectable gentleman. Was that what she wished for?

  “This is what I am trying to do now, Miss Bennet. Trying to find a way to exit this room,” he answered, still working on the door, his back turned to Elizabeth.

  He knew his gesture dismissed her and hoped she would return to the fireplace. But she remained.

  “Sir, your effort is commendable but apparently unsuccessful. I fear that if you insist, you may push out the latch on the other side and we would truly be locked in here.”

  He glanced at the door then at her. “You might be right. I will be careful, but I see no other choice if we wish to be discreet.”

  “Mr. Darcy, just as your effort, your concern is truly appreciated but really unjustified. Nobody who knows us both would ever suspect that something improper occurred here. If we are found here, people would rather worry that we hurt each other in a fight or argument…”

  He felt the smile in her voice and stood up, turning to her, surprised and bewildered. Her smile widened.

  “Come now, sir, it is a truth universally acknowledged in Hertfordshire that we dislike each other and that we became enemies from the first time we met at the Meryton Assembly.”

  Darcy was now completely puzzled. “People think we are enemies? Why would they believe that?”

  Now she laughed. “Perhaps because you offended me before we even became acquainted. Surely you did not imagine that you could call me tolerable and refuse to dance with me, and my mother and all the other neighbours would ever forgive you.”

  He stared at her, utterly astounded and deeply embarrassed. She had heard him and she held a grudge toward him all this time. The room became smaller, warmer and his breathing heavier. He loosened his neck cloth.

  “Miss Bennet, I must apologise for that evening… It was unfortunate timing when…”

  “Do not worry sir, it is all in the past. But, as I said, nobody would ever accuse you of compromising me, regardless of what strange situation we might find ourselves. You must not worry about your reputation.”

  His distress increased. “It is also your reputation that concerns me, Miss Bennet. I have a young sister and I would not want her to ever be placed in such a circumstance that might ruin her life by being trapped into a forced marriage.”

  “I thank you for your care, but I am not worried about my reputation at all, as I know neither of us has done anything wrong. And even if someone would be so unreasonable to assume a falsehood, you may rest assured that your life will not be disrupted in any way. I would never accept being forced into a marriage against my will, and I most certainly do not wish to be bound to you in any way. But as I already mentioned several times, this is the last thing we should worry about.”

  Darcy looked at her with disbelief. Could she be genuine in her statement? Would she refuse to marry him, if conditions should demand it? Was she so upset with him for that offence at the assembly that she would reject the chance of a rich life, so far beyond her present conditions and prospects? Surely she could never expect to marry someone in his position. She could not possibly be serious in dismissing such a possibility.

  His torment grew stronger, much like the storm outside. They held one another’s gaze for a while, then he hastened to the fire and put another log on it.

  “Miss Bennet, please sit,” he invited her. Elizabeth hesitated briefly, then obeyed tentatively. They were now sitting, facing each other, illuminated by the fire.

  “The wooden door is quite heavy, and the rain would cover any calling we might attempt. If we scream hard enough to be heard, surely this would wake up the entire house, the servants as well as the others. Would it not be uncomfortable for you to have them all here, staring at you, wondering, guessing, assuming…”

  She blushed at his explanation, feeling suddenly uncovered and exposed more than she could endure.

  “Then what can be done?” she whispered.

  “Wait a little longer… My poor attempt at fixing the door failed, but my valet will surely come to look for me soon. He expects me to retire for the night and if I am late, he will worry. I am usually in the library at this hour, so he will first search here.”

  “I see … that would be a satisfying resolution indeed…”

  “Yes … When he comes, he will open the door and I will leave with him. That will allow you time to retire to your chamber shortly after that, with no one suspecting anything.”

  “That is an excellent plan,” she smiled gratefully. “Now I feel less guilty for causing this unpleasant occurrence.”

  “You have no reason to feel guilt
y, I assure you.”

  He was tempted to speak further but her nearness was detrimental to his conversational skills.

  “May I offer you my coat? It is rather chilly here,” he asked.

  “Yes, thank you.” More than being cold, she was relieved to cover herself more. He took his coat and put it on her shoulders. The mere gesture stirred his senses so deeply that he removed his hands immediately and resumed his place.

  Elizabeth wrapped the coat around her, then slid her arms into the sleeves; the jacket was large, but pleasant and soft. It carried his scent and his touch and she found herself blushing. She trembled, although she started warming,

  “Thank you,” she whispered again. “Let us hope your valet will not be long.”

  “I hope the same; this is one night when I hope he keeps his good habits. He is very efficient and trustworthy.”

  “I am sure he is. He would not be your valet otherwise. I am sure all your staff is very proficient,” she said teasingly.

  She had smiled at him many times before and he had assumed it was a sign of her inclination toward him and proof of her preference for him. He just discovered that he had been utterly wrong – so he hesitated to judge her words in a favourable way.

  “My staff performs their duties as expected, and I repay their service fairly. I wish them to feel comfortable and safe with their daily life, so they can attend to their jobs,” he responded coldly.

  Elizabeth’s smile faded, wondering why he looked so uneasy.

  “I imagine you keep a large number of servants, especially at Pemberley. I understand the estate and the manor are impressive.”

  “Pemberley is my house. I am not sure I would call it impressive, but it is beautiful. At least to me and my sister,” he responded. His voice suddenly softened.

  “I understand your sister is a very accomplished young lady,” Elizabeth offered.

  A smile warmed his expression. “Georgiana possesses great talent, similar to her love for music. She likes books, opera and theatre. But her most important accomplishments are her kind heart and generous nature.”

  His emotion was so pure and so strong that it warmed Elizabeth too. Their eyes met and she needed a moment to reply.

  “Miss Darcy seems to be fortunate to have such a caring brother.”

  “I am fortunate to have her, I assure you,” Darcy said.

  “I feel the same about my sister Jane. Everybody admires Jane’s beauty, but there is so much of her that most people cannot see. She is the only person I know that always sees the best in people. I have never heard her say a single bad word about anyone.”

  Her words affected Darcy more than they intended. The guilt made him avert his eyes, as he remembered that he was the one who never said a single nice word about Jane Bennet. Except that she was beautiful – which anyone would have noticed. And that she smiled too much. He had been so unfair that he turned even a positive trait into a censure.

  “Your loyalty to your sister is impressive. I am sure your presence has helped her recovery,” was all he could say.

  “You are too kind but I deserve no praise. I would do anything for any of my sisters. I hope Jane improves enough so we can return to Longbourn tomorrow or the day after tomorrow –at the latest. I am sure everybody will be relieved once we are gone,” she uttered.

  Again, he did not miss her meaning and his discomfort increased. “Your parents and sisters must have been worried. I imagine they will be happy to have you at home,” he replied.

  She noticed his attempt to dismiss her previous comment and her amusement grew. At least he was honest and did not try to deceive her with some polite denial. But she needed to take some small revenge, so she continued.

  “I sense Mr. Bingley is the only one who will regret our leaving. He is such a pleasant, amiable gentleman.”

  He showed no emotion when he answered. “Bingley is everybody’s favourite, and a worthy man.”

  “How kind of you to speak so nicely of him.”

  “It is nothing but the truth. I wish only the best for him.”

  Elizabeth frowned and her eyes searched his. “If he is as you describe him, I am sure he knows what is best for him and how to grant himself a happy life.”

  The silent fight began and lasted through a few long moments of locked gazes.

  “Or do you not trust your friend’s judgement, Mr. Darcy?” she daringly challenged him.

  He avoided responding to the challenge. It was neither the time nor the place. And he knew he was not blameless. So he breathed deeply and responded.

  “There are times when I might assume that, being older and much more experienced in the matters of life I have a keener intuition about what is good or wrong. But when I am facing such a straight question as yours, it makes me consider the entire situation more thoughtfully.”

  She comprehended the inferred response and was pleased with it.

  “It is commendable for a man to analyze his actions carefully, in order to avoid mistakes that might hurt others.”

  “I am glad you approve anything in me, Miss Bennet. Earlier tonight I feared there was no trait to garner your appreciation among my countless faults.”

  His words – and his tone, lighter, lower, almost teasing – astounded Elizabeth and she tried to guess if he was jesting or not.

  “This is not elegant of you, Mr. Darcy. Now you practically force me to emphasize that you possess many qualities to compensate your faults – if there are any.”

  His lip and eyes were narrowed and she thought she observed a trace of a smile threatening to spread on his face.

  “I would never force you to do anything, Miss Bennet. That you should not doubt.”

  His tone grew more serious again and she adjusted hers when she declared:

  “I do not doubt that, sir.”

  For a moment they were silent, but they kept staring at each other; then their closeness affected him again and he rose, taking a few steps away from her.

  “Miss Bennet, would you like a glass of port? Only a little would help you warm. I will put another log on the fire; do you not think it is cold in here?”

  Elizabeth did not understand his nervousness and smiled watching his discomfort.

  “It is not cold; but another log would not be unwelcome, I believe. And a glass of wine too. Thank you.”

  Darcy immediately stirred the fire, then hurried to fill the glasses and returned with them. Elizabeth took hers and withdrew her hand hastily, as their fingers brushed over each other. Her cheeks coloured while she sipped a little wine.

  While they drank, they did not have to speak. But the silence grew heavier and Elizabeth became as much aware of Darcy’s presence nearby, alone in a chamber, in the middle of the night, as he was of hers. And the sensation was as powerful as it was unknown to her.

  “I wonder about your valet…Perhaps he fell asleep?” she asked. The storm was rattling the windows and the wind’s roar was disturbing.

  “I am sure he did not,” he replied, less convincingly than earlier. “He never falls asleep before I retire for the night. And he has been in my service since I was fifteen.”

  A strange and appalling question suddenly crossed her mind. “So you never spent the night in other chambers than yours?”

  Fortunately, he could not hear her thoughts, or else she would have died of shame. What on earth had come over her? What sort of reflection was that? Had she lost her mind from the wine?

  Flustered, struggling to smile and to sound composed, she finally spoke.

  “Then let us hope that tonight is not the exception. It should be close to midnight.”

  “Yes, it is past midnight,” he confirmed. “And there are only three logs left.”

  “The candles are also nearly burned. Could we find others?”

  Chapter 3

  Several more minutes passed and their mutual distress amplified. When they started to lose hope of being found in reasonable circumstances, a powerful knock on the door startled them both. They glanced at each other, then hurried to the door where, to their utter surprise, they were met by Bingley’s worried voice.

  “Miss Bennet? Miss Elizabeth Bennet – are you here?”

  Elizabeth looked at Darcy, waiting for a suggestion as to what to do next. He nodded to her to answer, and he retired to a dark corner.